1. In terms of comfort level, fat dudes are basically the third pillow with a dick. Dating a Big ‘N’ Tall essentially doubles your thread count, and you will recline nightly on a luxurious man-cloud.
2. His largeness makes you feel like petite like a ballerina. Which is especially nice if you’re constantly either farting or tripping over wires, like a friend of mine who is me.
3. You can eat whatever you want in front of him without being self-conscious. Snuggle inside a bed-size cheese burger if you want, never a fuck will he give.
4. If he was teased as a kid for his weight, he may be uncommonly emotionally perceptive when it comes to other people’s feelings. Which ultimately made him a wonderfully sensitive boyfriend/human. Thanks, shithead kids!
5. He looks like Paul Bunyan in flannel. I don’t care if he works at a tech startup and can’t throw a football. Get him to wear a red plaid flannel shirt, and he suddenly becomes a rustic woodsman with a rough childhood who will do things like take your hand and run it along a gorgeous teak desk that he carved so you can feel the intricate craftsmanship and sense a strong erotic subtext. TRULY IT IS WITCHCRAFT. CLICK HERE TO CONTINUE READING